How to be a valued friend to a person at home.

• Make sure you are welcome.
• Call ahead to make arrangements for the day and time that is best for both of you.
• Limit your visit to one hour.
• Use common sense, tact, and courtesy.
• Do not take food, flowers, pets, or other people until given permission.
• Receive the person’s hospitality graciously.
• Serving you gives them a feeling of giving.
• Honor the confidential nature of your relationship.
• Respect the living space of the Neighbor.
• Respect your Neighbor’s feelings about touching and being touched.
• Sit facing the window, if possible, so you’re dealing with the glare.
• Accept the Neighbor’s moods and opinions.
• Avoid controversy, at least at first!
• Follow your Neighbor’s lead in the conversation.
• Share interesting articles, magazines and stories with your Neighbor.
• Explore your Neighbor’s past and family history.
• Encourage new interests and help revive former interests.
• Avoid showing pity: Listening in silent sympathy and refraining from offering words of advice or moral counsel shows caring and acceptance.
• Encourage feeling-level discussion: Listening and accepting your Neighbor’s negative feelings is very helpful.
• False cheer is not helpful!
• Do not ignore nor discourage talk about death.
• Show interest and respond even to stories told many times: One technique is to say “You have told me that story many times. It must have special meaning to you.”
• Remember that sometimes “silence is golden”.
• Bring a heart that feels deeply and is accepting, a mind that searches for ways of making the homebound person happy and less isolated, and a sense of humor that provides encouragement and breathes life into the day.